United on the Carpet

Well Hello,

This has been a rather long hiatus non? I have returned from a Southern, and may I add warmer, hemisphere and have yet to write about anything. But frankly that time away was full of long periods of ridiculous brain ramblings on my own and lying in blissful sun on the beach, being chatted up by old(er) men in skirts and daydreaming and I ought to really be more productive than that about this blog.

I'm not even sure where to start so I should just launch really. Last time we met there was a certain job that I must admit despite being good at and having many a friend to work with I hated and couldn't abide. It was unhelpful and soul destroying no matter how hard I tried to help or create soulfulness in any capacity. So there I was floundering in a world of big financial fish and pretending I knew things that I just made up. and so what did I do after three months soul searching in the bright lights of Shanghai and the hippy free for all artsy Waiheke Island...? I am again working for a rather large financial institution that I must admit makes me want to cry. I would like to point out at this point that 1. I did this to stop myself cold calling so thank your lucky stars I'm not interrupting you watching Deal or No Deal with offers for Scottish Power.. Sorry not cold calling, I forgot, official title was Energy Broker... deal breaker, soul into million pieces breaker, fist smasher.. all the same to me.. and 2. In this current climate, and I'm aware of the irony here, there isn't much else to do... the karmic world of banking creates jobs for people who can't get anything else because the banks caused the recession. see fun times non??? 3. Well there isn't currently a three, a three for all is soon to come..

So Shanghai... a world of twinkly lights and big buildings and little French Buildings and communist statues. Fake trees in abundance amused me I must admit and I rather enjoyed a tree covered in pants (this was a picture but The Pant Tree is totally what I'm going to call my grocery store if ever I own one) I spent much of my time, pre Christmas, with the man himself, Father Christmas Chris Kringle. I have photographic evidence I'll have you know. I must admit I was a little bit scared of the things I might have heard about China as a country but the crabs in tanks staring at you, like the tramps and hipsters staring at you were giggle worthy (I must admit there was a lot of staring because of my delightfully blonde little nephew speaking Chinese)

The food is nuts and that is the best thing ever. All you can eat Teppanyaki with bottomless beer and eely bits. Wandering around the "Notions" market was, well heaven, with any possible bit of random craft goods you might ever want. I bought back so much I am not even sure I have use for it all but who doesn't need 7 mini cameos and chopsticks... Show me the one who doesn't and I'll show you a boring, hungry fool... There is the element of returning to some kind of olde laundered China that comes just walking down an alleyway. An alleyway lined with hanging silk trousers blowing in the wind that smells from second to second of sewage to garlic pak choi... and a lingering smell of dye and peaking umbrellas from slotted windows. Older women and workmen on bikes and a friendly student learning about European culture from us to pass the time. A small dog leaning off a balcony amidst the laundered bras. A world of fake sunflowers. A small mouse crawling around the comb shop, "combs can be so pretty". There we go.. an element of static writing that is not linked. I'm not dismissing the Chinese translations into English but being told do my duty to the five forests (which makes no sense) was a source of endless amusements. Just make sure not to pummel in a bamboo forest.

The stars though, the stars on the mountain. I crawled (almost literally) up the mountain with sickness, then crawled up the lodge's wooden stairs strewn with Christmas decorations. Becoming the crazy sick lady in the attic was intriguing for the youngsters flitting about the house but I came down to eat and take advantage of a bar.. Very irresponsible of me I know but I"m nothing if not a creature of habit... How long does it take for that mouse in the maze to realise the electric shock and pain is linked to the goodies it's eating? Well, for once I wasn't ill due to a hangover but from indulging in the Chinese food. Anyway, the Stars.. the stars... they shone endlessly in the empty sky. From light polluted giant ceramic flowers on the side of the motorway there was nothing but crisp bamboo, crisp air and world of stars dropped like salt all over the night sky's table cloth.

In the bins I found magazines due to be recycled. Magazines celebrating the anniversary of Flying Nun record label. A trip to Real Groovy was made, CDs and incoherent singing courtesy of the Island Rock radio... this is rather rambly but memories often are.

The shop was strangely the hub of excitement on the island. Kids were taken there on days off from school to go and look at kittens and learn about second hand excitement (something that I feel should be instilled in every child at a young age.. I know I had it done to me) There were the regulars, a lesbian woman who flitted between the aisles filling her and her partner's house for guests, a lone woman who had been left to the housewife of art. There was a donated pork pie hat, it had been trimmed. I was deliberating it, I was trying it on when a woman came in and said it was her's. She had been in a Ska punk bad doing her own songs and Madness covers.. The best hat story I've heard.. so far...and she even skanked for me. I bow down to her two toned greatness! In the next installment of my blog (which will happen soon when I'm more awake) there will be various other people I met and harassed/chatted to/ate with/drank too much with/danced about with.

There I was, down the Whanganui River singing to the goats with no way off the water for three days. This is the End... my only friend the end.. That's it. I was on Apocalypse now... Have you ever almost continuously rowed a Canadian canoe for three days straight, riding the rapids and avoiding the waves paved through by jet boats?

I sat amidst the possums... upon a barrel (yes, the boat was loaded with barrels full of our "dry" items and beer...) after ghost stories by the riverbank and hot camping curry there I stared and stared.. The stars, a theme I know, were the most spectacular speckles of light I've ever seen.

I sat there for hours. Literally... like on the The Bridge to Nowhere where I sat and looked out to nowhere... I'm still looking out to nowhere. Singing mindlessly and staring into space that was what I did. and I still remain answerless..

I have mostly been learning about work related things and attempting to read Perfume but buying 2nd hand copies of JM Barrie.

I have mostly been listening to "United" by Pete and the Pirates and sung it incessantly. I must admit I am a little addicted to going through Pete and the Pirates phases.an my amazing new record player. The video is full of lovely singing and cats. Cats moving their heads in time. To music. What the bloody hell more could you want? United on the carpet with a kitten... .and Dexys on Vinyl on my amazing new record player. And anticipatory dancing to Let's Spend the Night Together...

Then there's the semi erotic walks to work with the full on sunglasses and fur coat, as the weather and I have yet to decide what kind of day it will be... a Django Django day with the weather in hiatus and anticipating a storm? A little storm. I've assumed my old habit of listening to music as a rallying war cry on the way to work, I still change the song to fit in with walking in a movie, a movie where the heroine works in a call centre.

Recession and Responsibility-A Banker's Tale... Trademark call centre lovers...

And cooking Easter dinner for people with two kinds of lamb (Homemade Moroccan rub with cumin, coriander seed, flaked almonds and tabasco and then garlic and rosemary) cos that's how I roll...

soon to come part two of adventures and other parts of life.