So Tis a New Year... new years resolutions abound.. but that's not what I'm going to be writing about .... as I sit with a cold, pancakes, icely bound in my home, off work due to distinct lack of ability to taste/smell/see clearly I thought I'd abate boredom with a little post after a long absence and lack of actual readers.. but that's not going to stop me.. !!!
I am sat watching the Gilmore Girls..
in the exciting manner that I have missed since starting work.. what more can one want in a stupid comedy drama nonsense? Lou Reed, Sonic Youth, Grizzly Bear and various indie greats namedropped and soundtracked off the cuff... so well at least that's my basis for watching it.. I like quick talking nonsense. and ignoring the vapid nature of celebrity big eugheugheugh.... why? and Cheryl Cole... yes rather pretty and with utterly bouncy hair but she scares me.. she is just far too convenient.... hmmm... anyway I spent my first day .. nay the first few (coherent) hours of the new year watching Muppet Treasure Island and trying to figure out who the young Jim was... Kevin Bishop odd....
So what has happened since my last post? Life has swum past.... I have bought and lost two more fish... I named them after their favourite record, or the record I played them which made them swim fastest.. I tested a Lee Hazelwood and Nancy Sinatra best off from the lovely Oxfam collection of crap down the road... to which they looked somewhat happy but they didn't quite get what Lee was on about.. I think they were confused by Some Velvet Morning and even more annoyed they had not boots nor feet that were made for walking... so I put on Velvet Underground and Nico... and they swam and found some furs (well weeds) to wrap themselves in and um.. cavort with each other to .seems even fish like to have sex to the Velvet Underground ... who doesn't eh?
so they were called Lou and Nico....
So I enter a new year with my 10grand job (which let's hope fingers crossed I'm not still doing for the rest of the year to get 10 grand) and a new start is awaiting.. somewhere.. Planning an exciting breakthrough into something else exciting.. I think I've missed out on my hat making course.. so millinery is not going to be imminent but I'm starting to practice.. I have developed an idea for a fashion show based on the English Civil War, and I need to copyright that now cos it took me a good two hours to think of all the hats.. well I must have something to do at work mustn't I?
I am deliberating a lifestyle change to move the other side of the world. not quite sure where yet but who knows. It might be somewhere fun.. I'm sick of being shouted at 24/7 and it's only a matter of time before I start writing my memoirs of a banking Customer Service Adviser. It would involve such excellent stories of crazy cat ladies threatening to stab invisible men on the phone.. think I'm jesting? just you wait for when I publish banking Babylon (haha no really not the title)
I'm waiting for the time I can tell the person on the phone, in my ever stable and polite manner that the reason someone working on the telephone is not stupid as I have a degree and I understand what I'm saying.. just cos they don't does not make it nonsense and soon enough I'm going to point out, politely of course, that it's most likely the older generation of nonsense makers faults' that I'm stuck in a dead end job working for pittance and being treated like a doormat.. yes my boss big boss knows my name but no that does not make her less of an Evil Ice Queen... and yes that is a title so it does deserve capitals.. I do believe it is her new title... moving onto the vindictive nature of those "In Charge"... what exactly are they in charge of cos if i was more of a cliche than I am.. which I strive not to be (probably a cliche in it's own right anyway..hmm) I would play jargon bingo.. well bingo with their big old balls.. This a women driven world apparently but that does not stop my co worker being called Mr.. and me being treated like a nonsensical little girl, got called a "good girl" yesterday, because I'm of the fairer sex...
I've managed to figure out how to a. draw at my desk without being caught, b. knitting *under the desk but still .. I Looked like I was masturbating but that way nobody else came and spoke to me...hehe they were too uncomfortable * c. reading my book under the desk (at the moment Alain de Boton's "Essays in Love", before the excellent "Her Fearful Symmetry" which if you have not read go and do so now. I'm kicking myself for not having been to Highgate Cemery before now.. d. texting.. not too hard e. being paranoid that I'd miss working at all ... tragic non? and e. Giggling...
a lot.
So back onto why they're all vindictive and waiting for you to mess up.. I'm not going to be messed with on this kind of nonsensical shit.. not allowed to leave early due to the ice and snow... we walked for 2hrs in the day on sheets of ice and on the way home in the dark... fun times.. or not.. even worse when apparently you get in trouble for making a comment and being in a bad mood. when I Know for a fact that the bosses do FUCK ALL most of the time. I've outrightly asked my boss a question and she didn't know what I was talking about. I was confirming something, to do with banking may I add it wasn't quantum Physics... which frankly I hold my hands up to not understanding.. and she said hmm I don't know. and Two of us made the mistake of going to the Christmas dinner.. to put into perspective how heinous it was only 14 people out of about 300 went.. and we had to go and get pissed beforehand... it was all about drunkenly dancing amongst your "peers" and pretending to be down with the kids.. one person was lovely the rest looked like evil walking Boots adverts.. here come the evil bloodsucking ice queens, not quite as catchy a title for the song but you get my feeling yes??
Tis not the fun world for a temp... apparently even opening the window has its hazards... I opened a window in a bout of cold related fever and I would openly fine to shut the window if asked.. however, one delightful co-worker who can't look me in the eye and has a habit of badmouthing temporary staff or blaming the entire downfall of the bank not on its consistent workers oh NOOOO they know exactly what they're doing but on the temp staff.. so he couldn't even look me in the eye when I told him out impolite it was not to ask and coughed ... he muttered something about air con.. I'm just generally annoyed at the rudeness of people.. What is the necessity of rudeness? Wit, Sarcasm, even down and outright anger rage burning instead..
but stupid rude bastard
fume fume fume..
I've stopped listening to my ipod in the toilet in my lunch break now though and have actually made friends to watch telly with and fall asleep on the sofa with which is nice... just some dickheads are being dickheads.. how eloquent I have become in the face of adversity.. I dunno.. how utterly ridiculous am I? I sit at a desk all day alternating between telling people it's not my fault and transferring them to the ISA team, giggling or reading up on romantically inclined syllogisms.. tis but the life of the lowly graduate. Now if only I could find a graduate training scheme for I dunno.. political satire writing combine with millinery and photography and philosophical pundit for the Guardian and I'd be sorted!!!
I'm preparing for some Feminist fun with another production of That Takes Ovaries a play of stories of Female bravery... so be prepared for more updates on that. and hopefully helping out with a Feminist art show which I must away and do some painting for...
delightful.. I'm planning paintings.... if art school won't come to Muhammed..
So talking of art I felt the need to go and use my brain in Tate Liverpool and went to the rather excellent exhibition on Michael Landy and Jean Tinguely's Joyous Machines.. these machines started my brain athinkin' again which was somewhat a delight when it's been asleep deep in the crevices of banking bad trip... these machines are built to not only be kinetic and pretty well some of them, pretty in a Mondrian liney De Stijl way, but also conclusively to destroy themselves. They look almost like deconstructed Kandinskys with more colours ... each shape was more than one colour and the 3d element represents the fluid way Kandinsky must have wanted his paintings to look explosive.. Tinguely's excellent words put it as they would not exist without destruction. The Point of their existence is the destruction solely of themselves. This is coming from a rather rakish and artistic French man elaborating on why destruction is a good thing... deconstruction of his own constructions by themselves seems to totally make sense when eeer explained err.. like zees..
I loved the video they show of the audience's reaction to his, well I suppose it was a loose form of performance art but that makes him sound like a mediocre art student with a mime show. how he set the machine to die in the middle of Brooklyn I believe and realistically it died at the hands of the NYC fire dept. Less artistic but quite interesting.. Even the mini suicide pod that was created to escape the mother machine and dive into a pond to drown itself didn't quite make it ... they had to put it all out before the hidden fire extinguisher in the piano blew up. As that's what it was doing it was showing a life spectrum within the machine. It lived I suppose, it made noises, music, moved breathed in the mechanical sense.. and all due to the God of Tinguely. It threw open lots of ideas for the relationship between human and machine. For example the drawing machine he created. People put their names to the drawings made by the machine, they did however either make these machines or set them up or arrange the process for them to create certain kinds of drawings, even the random drawings were probably preconceived to the degree that the machine did not act on its own free will. However, does this make the machine the artist? Does this allow us to give the title of artist to any machine? could you say a paintbrush was an artist or is the machine simply a tool for the human to create art. is there any kind of art created without the middle man tool .. human to canvas.. but then the canvas and paint could be the tools.. does it need forethought? Am I reading into this too deeply because it's the first time in ages I've felt properly compelled by something exciting? The nature of human as the artist is amazing and I wish one day to have that title however, does this title only belong to the human? can it ever belong to "individual-machine or otherwise"?
anyway... ramble ramble..
Michael Landy created images of the destruction of the Tinguely's machine but also created a display on Oxford street concerning the destruction of all the items in his house. Surely something I could never do as I live in an almost entirely materialistic state.. not due to a love of consumerism just a love of objects but I don't live in an objective state really haha.. anyway yes.. this was almost beautiful as he took each item and weighed it, obviously remembered something regarding it and then destroyed it to its lowest form.. a pulp. a nothingness.. or simply destroyed it by making it not resemble what it once was... 7227!!!!!!
is something destroyed when it no longer appears as it used to be or is simply the same fundamental feelings and ideas or material melded into a new position? is it ever new or old or truly destroyed?
So yes there were many other exciting things in the Tate which amused me.. they have turned a sculpture museum into a sculpture disco.... Disco with the Sarah Lucases and the like... with a dancefloor and amazing lights reflecting of a naked golden man's balls... all to the musical accompaniment of disco tunes on your own little headphones.. Well Impressed!!!
and I spent a long time watching Gilbert and George and that was purely for my own exciting amusement......as we all know
"Gordon's makes us very drunk."........
Speaking of drink I'm somewhat enamoured with an advert for the twinings or some such tea where the man makes a picture of a waterfall with tea.... realistically ... it was blatantly not tea but I'm so tempted to get some exciting coloured tea and try it....
or put it in the bath... I've just had the most spectacular bath that smelt like tangerine oil (and weirdly the place between my fingers smelt like well it smelt like something or someone I'd not smelt in awhile which sounds dirty but it's not I promise haha...)
Like some rain and honey and the nice smell of the cold after you've been for a walk.. sigh...
So.. in conclusion for now.. I've mostly been reading: "Her Fearful Symmetry" as mentioned above.. a delightful ghost story about love and loss and OCD. and Making myself slightly miserable but philosophically so by reading Essays in Love... beautiful and insightful. even makes me smile to be totally honest..
I've mostly been listening to: well it was Christmas so "Fairytale of New York" which always makes me smile or sad can't decide which... and Last Christmas... but also the excitement that I got Julian Casablancas's solo album for Christmas so "I know I'm going to hell in a leather jacket....."
I've mostly been watching buffy. nuff said.. .no more I'm trying to wean myself off it. Promise. !
and I've mostly been knitting: a Scarf for Kieran. it's still not finished. oh well! Merry Christmas!
most unfulfilled dream I've had...: one I'm not going to share cos I keep dreaming about something... and also owning my own shop full of buttons, feathers and records......
and painting: a birthday pressie for my father.. based on Under Milk Wood.... Dylan Thomas and Christmas...
reminds me of this really....
and i've been mainly wanting all the things on here and all for a good cause.. bon bon bon..
http://www.yellowbirdproject.com/
Bon Soir Cheri xxxxxx
